Feelings are important. We do so many things in life just to feel something.

To feel loved.

To feel understood.

To feel enough.

However, many of our biggest decisions are also made under the influence of temporary feelings. The problem is that we do not recognize them as temporary while we are experiencing them.

We all make choices and decisions.

Sometimes based on strategy.

Sometimes based on gut.

And sometimes, just based on feelings that overwhelm us and cloud our judgment.

And when we do that,

the results tell us,

even if we do not want to know.

Eventually, life tells us what we built our future upon.

Was it a thoughtful and mindful decision?

Was it an intuition that was trying to move us toward something better?

Or was it a temporary feeling?

There is something interesting here.

We often mix intuition and feelings together, as if they are the same thing. We say, “I have a feeling for this. It is not like others,” but we mistake it for intuition, and often, we do not even see the difference.

A feeling overwhelms you, for good or bad.

It asks for your attention immediately. It asks you to react.

And you do, because for that moment, you are under its influence.

Intuition feels different.

It is almost like a pinch. A small nudge.

It does nothing like a feeling. It simply points.

And how you consider that point is what is going to help you.

Do we follow that small pinch of intuition, that we are not sure about?

Or do we follow the feelings that are in abundance at that moment?

And perhaps this is why we are more influenced by our feelings than our intuition.

Which is where I found myself writing:

“Sit with the feeling before you build a future around it.”

Because your future will eventually tell you what it was built upon.

So, I am curious.

Looking back at your biggest decisions, who built them?

Your strategy?

Your intuition?

Your temporary feelings?

Or was it a mix?

What I love about this question is that it acknowledges something we do not often admit.

Often, we tell ourselves,

“I am sad.”

“I am angry.”

“I am confused.”

Sometimes, we even say, “I don’t know what I am feeling.”

However, are we ever really feeling just one thing or nothing?

In any given moment, our past is speaking.

Our beliefs are speaking.

Our values are speaking.

Our fears are speaking.

Even our sense of the future is speaking.

So, how can we expect ourselves to feel only one thing when so many parts of us are trying to be heard at the same time?

From my perspective, this is one of the most human experiences we can have.

Feelings are fluid.

They are constantly updating us about our relationship with ourselves, others, and the world around us.

They change because our relationship with the present moment is constantly changing.

And perhaps emotions are like seasons, while feelings are like the weather.

You may be in a season of love, and yet experience the weather of uncertainty.

You may be in a season of grief, and yet experience moments of relief.

You may be in a season of healing, and still find yourself feeling angry on certain days.

The weather changes. It rarely remains the same throughout the day.

And so do our feelings.

This is why it is possible to want to walk away and yet stay.

To hold on and let go.

To hope for forever while simultaneously fearing what tomorrow may bring.

Perhaps the part of you that wants to stay is trying to protect connection.

Perhaps the part of you that wants to leave is trying to protect safety.

And perhaps the part of you that wants forever is trying to protect hope.

Which brings me to something I say often:

Feelings are feedback.

They are not asking us to obey them.

They are asking us to understand them.

They are telling us something about what is happening within us in response to what is happening around us.

So, I would invite you to ask a different question.

Instead of asking, “Which feeling should I listen to?”

Ask yourself:

“What is each feeling trying to tell me?”

Sit with the feeling.

Give it time.

Allow it to teach you something about yourself before you allow it to shape your future.

Because being human has never been about feeling one thing and only one thing.

It has always been about learning how to hold many truths at the same time.

And sometimes, holding all of those truths can feel heavy.

Sometimes, we become so close to our own experience that it becomes difficult to see it clearly.

The biggest gift of being human is that we do not always have to make sense of our experiences alone.

Whether it is a trusted friend, a family member, or a mental health professional, there are times when allowing another person to sit with us helps us hear ourselves more clearly.

Because sometimes, what we need is not another answer.

Sometimes, we simply need a witness.

Someone who can hold a safe space for us while we learn to understand ourselves more clearly.

Your Psychologist,

Ambidextrous Anmol