One would say when we are in some stressful situation. That’s true, but not the whole!

We feel stressed when there is a mismatch between the demands of the situation and our ability to deal with it, now it could be real or perceived!

Not every situation is stressful, the situation which you can handle would not be stressful to you whereas it could be stressful to one who lacks the ability or is not very confident in their ability to deal with the situation.

Dr. Richard Lazarus says, “Stress resides neither in the person nor in the situation. An individual's views, perceptions, beliefs, and expectations play a large role in whether the event is stressful...”

The situation could be REAL like there is the presence of the stressor (anything which causes stress) in the present moment, or it could be PERCEIVED like one is overthinking about the future which is building anxiety (anticipation of future threats), fear, uncertainty... leading to stress in the present moment.

We can’t eliminate stress, but we can reduce it, manage it, and use it for our good...

Yeah, we can use it for our good, here one person would be required to learn to manage stress which would then increase the probability of one’s survival.

I remember some lines from the Psychology NCERT textbook, which are:

Stress is like electricity. It gives energy, increases human arousal, and affects performance. However, if the electric current is too high, it can fuse bulbs, damage appliances, etc.

Now we can’t decide how much stress should life provide us, but we can learn to manage it, direct it, and use it for our own good.

We need, stress!

Though it is an inevitable part of our life, still I would like to mention that we need it, yeah in the right amount, now the amount is not in our hands, but again managing, directing, and using it is in our hands.

Too much stress is not good as it would not be helpful in our performance, but if the stress is too little or negligible then that’s also not good as then we would not feel motivated, lazy and that would influence our efficiency.

All the students would be able to relate to this, no matter how we study the whole year when exams (stressors) are near our efficiency rises like anything, and we won’t talk about one day or two days before the exam, in those days a person is just like a superhuman.

Now the superhuman thing does not apply to all but to the majority, yes it is!

Flexible people use stress!

Let’s discuss, how flexible people use stress?

I am talking about the people who are flexible in the sense that they don’t like following much of a fixed routine, "go with the flow" kind of people.

You see the flexible student doesn’t study much the whole year, but in the exams, they perform well because they know how to manage stress, and how to use stress to increase efficiency and performance.

I like the concept of Hydroelectric Power Plants; they use the falling water to generate electricity and not only that but also use the water for other purposes.

The same could be done with stress, you can use it, and you can channel it to use it for other purposes.

The biggest question now comes is HOW TO?

How to manage stress effectively to use it for our things, let’s first talk about what happens to you when you are under stress:

Whenever there is a stressor or any pressure, threats your body prepares itself for a “Fight or Flight” response, now our body is hardwired to do this, we got this from evolution to protect ourselves from harm.

Stress is your body’s reaction and if you wanna be in control of the situation, wanna have control over yourself then you need to start RESPONDING instead of REACTING.

The reaction thing is an automatic response, RESPONSE is conscious.

When you are conscious you will be in control, and when you are in control, you could do the best possible thing, isn’t it...

So, I would like you to RESPOND

R: Respiration

As you are aware your body gonna put you into the “Fight or Flight” response, to be in control of yourself and your situation, you need to be calm, not every stressful situation is worth “Fight or Flight.”

At times we can deal with such a situation calmly, you see the more conscious you are more are the successful possibilities to deal with the situation, so take control of your body and give it to your consciousness. 

When you are exposed to stress, your breath gets shorter, your body gets into a fight/flight/freeze state, and you get restless... you need to keep yourself calm and the best and easiest way to do that is by conscious breathing.

Deep conscious breathing will calm you down, it will help you to have control over yourself and certainly over the situation. So do conscious respiration.

E: Evaluation

Now as you are conscious and calm, you can think of what can be done.

So now evaluate your strengths and abilities, are they enough to deal with the situation?

We feel stressed when we lack the abilities or lack confidence in our abilities, so evaluating yourself is extremely important!

I am very fond of doing SWOT analysis, whenever I get an opportunity or I am in a situation I quickly evaluate my Strengths and Weaknesses in context to that particular situation/condition/opportunity...

Accurate evaluation would help you in managing not only yourself but also the situation.

S: Seeking Support

We do not always need to fight alone; we can ask for help when needed. So after you evaluate your things, if you can manage by yourself that’s well and good, but if you find that no, you won’t be able to then simply SEEK SUPPORT.

I mentioned that we feel stressed when we lack the abilities or lack confidence in our abilities.

Now if we lack the abilities to deal with situations then we won’t be able to order abilities instantly from some fairyland, here one needs to take external help/assistance.

If we lack confidence in our abilities, then also we can’t place an order for 1kg of confidence from some “fairyland confidence store”.

So, at times Seeking Support is alright!

Seek Support from your people, you can also reach professionals.

P: Prioritize

Now I have talked a lot about being in control of yourself and over the situation, responding instead of reacting...

I would like to mention Prioritizing is also important, not every stressful situation is worth your time and abilities.

If a situation is destroying your peace and if you can prioritize, I would recommend you to prioritize instead of dealing with it.

At times we need to adapt ourselves according to the situation, so look at what could be done, and choose the best possible.

O: Opportunity

I look at stressful situations as opportunities. I love them because according to me they come to test my abilities, and by dealing with those situations I am not only learning about myself but also improving like anything.

Work on yourself every single day, and use all the opportunities that could help you grow, and make you better.

N: Needs

We also need to look for our bodily needs, at times we are mentally very strong and feel like we could deal with the situations but what is our body?

Is our body capable enough to support us!

Do look into your body and your body’s resources when you are evaluating.

D: Duration

Duration is very important, stress for a short period could be helpful but if continued for a longer period it gonna affect your body, your body would spend all the resources and would be at the point of breakdown, and that’s not a state where you should be!

So do consider the duration of the stressful event, if it is longer, consider Seeking Support and consider your body, whenever needed, prioritize your body over dealing with the stressful situation.

You always need your body to support you, so take good care of it!

P.S. Prefer RESPONDING over REACTING.