My niece asked for my help with her school project; she came with questions, but what I said left her in dismay!

I said, and I quote: “I don’t answer questions, I help you with finding the answers.”

Clearly, she was disappointed, and the look she shot me was priceless 😾

After she tried a few things, I offered a guiding idea. Her immediate reaction was, “Why didn’t you just give me that earlier?! 😹”

My reason is simple: I want her to engage her brain 🧠

By refusing to give direct answers, I created a space for her to try her best first. Only after she had put in the effort did I provide the nudge she needed.

Why did I do that?

The reality today is that many people give up too easily when facing a challenge, especially under pressure. My niece started her project at 8 pm for a deadline the next morning. Situations like this, with tight deadlines, the pressure for perfection, high expectations… are incredibly stressful.

So they look for shortcuts: Google, AI, or even someone else doing their work in the name of taking help. But does that really help in the long run?

I have known parents not only helping a little bit but doing such school projects by themselves because that feels easier than patiently guiding their ward through the stress, uncertainty and confusion while doing something new.

The concern is when it is repeated, it would create a cycle where the kid will never build the resilience to handle challenges independently. And if so, then what would happen to their dreams of becoming doctors, engineers, or anything ambitious like problem solvers for the world?

These professions are not about knowing all the answers; they’re about figuring out solutions when no textbook has the exact answer.

As elders, I think, it’s our responsibility not to hand out ready-made answers but to guide them in the process of discovery. That’s how we nurture creativity, confidence, patience and self-reliance—the qualities tomorrow’s world will truly need 🌱